After the Party

I’ve never been one for big celebrations. In theory, they sound fun, but in reality I’m almost always ready to tap out about 45 minutes in. The very premise of deciding to get married with a ceremony and a reception was honestly, horrifying to me. It’s odd, 6 years of competitive speaking, and still, somehow the idea of being the center of attention for the better part of 4 hours sounded like some sort of ritual torture.

In retrospect, there were several things that saved us. For starters, my aunt Beth catered, and I don’t think anyone can complain when you have a buffet of excellent food on offer, punch to drink, and some appetizers to snack on while things get reorganized. We also didn’t throw a monster-sized bash, and I’d like to think things moved at a brisk enough pace that no one was really stuck waiting for something for very long.

I’m always worried about whether or not everyone had a good time when they were there. I remember after my high school graduation party I was sort of bummed out that I’d barely gotten to talk with anyone, even though I’d managed to greet anyone who came through the door. I worried about the same thing in the time after my wedding. I especially worried about whether or not my family enjoyed themselves. I barely got to talk to anyone aside from when we were lining up to process in and out, and the brief turn we took making the rounds before dinner started. It seemed like a poor reward for inviting them to this big day. “Here, show up, march in, I’ll wave at you a couple of times, you can eat some food, and we’ll go about our lives!”

But, then I started going through our photos (we’re still working on putting together an album) and I was looking through them all, letting Google tag faces and find people for me, and I found this great series of photos of my wife Ivory, twirling with our nieces. It was before the ceremony, when we were getting all of the group photos completed. My mom and grandmother were seated off to the side, and my grandmother has this bemused sort of smile on her face, watching all of them twirling in their dresses.

It’s the kind of thing that gets lost in the chaos of a big day, but it was a relief to see a little moment of delight, even as things were bustling along. Because, of course people tell you they had a great time, or they rave about the food or whatever, but there’s nothing like a candid photo to tell you other truths that could have been missed, I guess.